You must go to Schlockmercenary.com. You must read up on the delightful product XDM. You must buy it.
If you’re going to GenCon, buy it anyway (if you ship it priority I bet you’ll get it before you go). When you get there, buy another. If you hand Howard both, I bet he’d doodle something special for you. Tell him I said he would. But you have to buy one now. And one there.
Actually, you love your family, don’t you? They each need one. Oh, I understand. No, no. No need to explain why you don’t love your family. I get it. I won’t tell them. I mean, I will probably never see them, right? This will likely never come back to haunt you. I’ll just go weep for your cold, stony, heart.
I need to go rethink my view on humanity.
Or DO I?